“Fall back! Run!” yelled a Winterguard soldier, right before being trampled into the mud under the feet of Terminus. The Cryxian forces had overwhelmed the Khadoran position and Winterguard were dying in droves…as usual.
A brave Winterguard officer ran forward and yelled “Let’s do a COMBINED RANGED ATTACK!!!” and his squad turned around and opened fire all at once at Terminus. For no reason whatsoever, all the shots deviated into a Mechanithrall’s head, which exploded.
“Oh shit Sergeant it didn’t work we’re all gonna DIIIIEEE-” yelled one as Terminus grabbed his face and smashed it into oblivion and threw the remains on the rest of them.
All was lost. Everything was fucked. Khadoran troops ran and screamed, no one knew what the fuck was even going on. That was until a shadow loomed on the horizon. Who the fuck was that? Not even I knew.
Everyone stopped fighting and stared at the silhouette. It couldn’t be!
VLAD!
Vlad strode down onto the battlefield with his handsome looks and cape flapping. The Khadoran troops pressed the attack. Vlad wasted no time; he activated a few jacks nearby and flew into action!
A Slayer ran up to Vlad and swung! Vlad jumped out of the way, parrying the giant claw with just a small dagger named Ruin. Vlad then gave the Slayer a dirty look and all of the sudden…the Slayer’s armor became like BRITTLE FROST. Vlad then punched the Slayer’s head off with a wicked uppercut.
In the distance a Leviathan lumbered into view. Vlad immediately summoned a WIND WALL and the poor jack’s shot ricocheted all over creation.
Vlad then launched a wind that was very much like razors across a Bloat Thrall’s stomach. Its stomach ruptured and corrosive bile came out all over a group of Winter Guard standing near it! Oops!!
“VLAD YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE-” screamed a female Winter Guard as her tits and vagina dissolved. Another Winter Guard, who was standing close to Kovnik Josef, felt himself become really tough and stood back up and felt fine. The rest went to Urcaen or some shit.
Vlad ignored the dying Winterguard and spied a new threat. The Deathjack! It slowly lumbered into view and was preparing to throw down. Vlad ordered his Warjacks to march towards the Deathjack and ruin it. What was wrong? They weren’t marching! Vlad then forced them to march because otherwise they wouldn’t have done it. Vlad saw the distance between the Jacks and it was too great. He pulled out all the stops. He made their charge boundless, meaning that there would be no boundaries for the jacks to stop at. Who cares what happened next.
Vlad then ordered all the mortars left to hit the Cryxian positions. They fired…but kept missing?? Then the Old Witch emerged from a forest and made a Sign at Vlad. He understood. Then he looked in the sky and saw an eagle. It was a portent!! All the sudden the mortars started hitting their targets…
There was one thing left to do.
Terminus.
Terminus, slobbering and full of hate, cut a bloody swathe through unit of Winter Guard to get to Vlad. Vlad concentrated on Terminus’s sword and then all of the sudden his sword Mimic stretched out about two feet longer. “Wow that’s interesting” he thought.
Vlad mentally prepared himself for his duel. He had inside him the Blood of Kings! His eyes turned red and he flew towards Terminus. Terminus summoned a wall of Mechanithralls in front of him, but it was futile. Vlad could not be stopped, nothing could hit him!
“You fools! We’re gonna have to KNOCK HIM DOWN!” barked Terminus.
A Mechanithrall ran up and stood in front of Vlad. Terminus then commanded a Defiler to run up and slam the Mechanithrall into Vlad. It was so crazy it had to work. Vlad stood there wondering what the fuck they were up to. The Defiler ran and slammed into the Mechanithrall and it flew into Vlad…knocking him on his ass. Do’h!
“NOWS OUR CHANCE KILL HIM!!!!!!!11” roared Terminus.
All the Thralls ran up and began hacking away at Vlad as he lay there stunned. Much to their confusion, their hacking didn’t do shit.
“Oh never mind, we can’t even hurt him. My bad.” stated Terminus matter-of-factly.
Vlad stood up and dusted himself off.
“Any last words you fucking moron?” said Vlad to Terminus.
“Go suck Queen Vanar’s cock you faggot” spat Terminus.
“You loose…Terminus” retorted Vlad as he prepared for the final blow.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!11
Everything around Vlad turned to ice, including all the Winter Guard. Sorscha flew into view like a rush of wind. Vlad sighed at the intrusion and sheathed his weapons in frustration. He was about to complain, but was cut off.
“You did really good…now fuck me in the ass” said Sorscha as she started to removed her armor. Vlad grinned and popped his knuckles.
The End
Stay tuned, Slappy's "Stryker and Haley: A Love Story" will be up soon! Feel free to comment on this outstanding short story Here.
